Helping Boys with Responsibilities

Boys are different than girls and as mother’s we play a key role in developing boys into men. I used to think it was my husband’s role to teach my son everything he needed to know. Why not? He’s a boy; he should have all the answers, Right? Wrong, my husband’s role is extremely important for my son’s development and yes, he will answer questions my son would rather ask him than his mom but our role as mothers is just as important.

So, we want to raise well rounded boys, let’s get started….

Encourage your son to follow directions and finish what he has started. Boys have a tendency to develop these skills slower than girls. Encouraging responsibility at an early age teaches them to be accountable for their actions. As mothers we sometimes baby our boys in hopes of teaching them to be sensitive, stop. Sensitivity has nothing to do with responsibility. As boys grow they become harder to handle and it is important to teach them control over their actions.

Ways to encourage responsibility:

• Start early; toddlers can help put their toys away, get something for mom or help in the kitchen.


• Give age appropriate chores and don’t expect perfection.


• If your son does something wrong remain calm and look at it as a lesson not something to fix right away to prevent embarrassment. Try using this method, stop, and think, beforeyou react.

Example: Your son hits a child on the play ground.

Stop: Stop the action (have him apologize)

Think: Ask your son why he hit the child and encourage him to express his feelings whileengaging him in being responsible for his actions. Help him discover a betterway to handle the situations, provide examples (walk away, talk to an adult)

Before you React: Provide your son with an action plan on how to handle the situation in the future. Review the plan each time your son may be faced with that situation (playgrounds, playgroups, school).

These steps help encourage your son to think on his own and provide him with the beginning tools needed to take responsibility for his own actions. I have used this with my own son and now in his teens he is responsible and uses the stop, think before you react when faced with teen issues. It is second nature to him and he really doesn’t realize he is processing on this level.

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