Funny Parenting Tips & Quotes

I thought I would list some funny parenting tips and Quotes that have made us all laugh throughout the years. Of course, we all know laughter is the best medicine and when you feel as though you are at your wits end read these and then return to the sound advice of your pediatrician, Dr. Phil or your wise mother on how to really handle the situation.


No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. –Bill Cosby-

My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?- Erma Bombeck-

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. –Phyllis Diller-

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. -Jerry Seinfeld-

One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is. –Erma Bombeck-

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. – Phyllis Diller-

The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable." - Lane Olinhouse-

Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes." - Joyce Armor-

"It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snow blower or vacuum cleaner." - Ben Bergor-

Have a great day, and enjoy those lil rug rats!

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